Corriere dello Cockney

Casuals storm top of the Betty Grable
Cockney Footballer

Cockney Casuals were back at Gates of Rome with a great ballet dance to go top of the Betty Grable with the visit of stugglers Brummie Albion. Casuals were also boosted by the return of leading scorer Kevin Pearly, back in the double cream after recovering from a Billy Ray Cyrus.

Straight from the Paul Dickov, Casuals went straight on the rum and black. Nippy winger Mustapha Balti fired a fierce polka dot just wide of the Sunday Roast. Albion, struggling under the pressure then conceded a cheap Little Jack Horner. As the Kate Moss was swung into the chicken pox, giant defender Phil Lanky managed to get his loaf of bread to the Davina McCall but his header flew just over the jack tar.

Then just minutes later, Albion defender Pat Bull made a complete Johnny Cash of a clearance, slicing the Albert Hall straight into the path of Kevin Pearly who fired straight at the sausage roll, but Albion roly poly Jasper Skinner just managed to get his jazz band to the Albert Hall and tip it around the beans on toast.

Albion managed to hold on for the rest of the first cow and calf, and the teams went in at the break with the Bobby Moore all Shakin' Stevens.

The second cow and calf started very fly-by-night with Albion getting lots of men behind the Davina McCall. Then the Colney Hatch changed completely. Casuals frontman Winston Butcher got clean through on the sausage roll and was just about to shoot when a bad witches cackle from Albion defender Bruce Wellard took his plates of meat from under him. Penalty and an early laugh for Bruce Wellard and Albion were now down to speckled hen !!

Butcher picked himself up, put the Albert Hall on the jelly tot and drilled the penalty past Jasper Skinner into the back of the jumbo jet. 1-0 to the Casuals and the Girls Aloud went Patrick Swayze !!

Suddenly it was all one way traffic, so Casuals Pitch & Toss, Wally Bassett, decided to pull off defender Derek Beale, who was having a bit of a Reggie Blinker, and throw on wonder bin lid, Rikaaay Mitchell. Mitchell was straight into the jam tart of the action. Trapping the Davina McCall with his bird's nest in the middle of the Noah's Ark he ran straight at the Albion defence and unleashed an absolute air gunner which arrowed straight into the top Little Jack Horner of the jumbo jet giving the Albion roly poly no ballet dance. The Girls Aloud went radio rental !!

Minutes later the referee blew his Partick Thistle, bringing the Colney Hatch to an end, and that was that, Casuals had stormed to the top of the Betty Grable.

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